10 reasons I’m delighted to see the back of this rotten parliament

There was a point, during the speech made by Labour MP Jess Philips today, when I almost couldn’t take it any more. Philips was complaining that no-one can tell her what will happen if this December’s election produces a hung parliament. For goodness sake! If the next Commons is hung various parties will try to form an administration. If that doesn’t sustain, or a minority administration fails, then there will be another election. It’s basic political history. There were two elections in 1974. Can’t get a clear result? Try again. It’s democracy in action.

The debate on an election was so dreadful today here at Westminster – mining new depths of crapitude – that it was hard not to lose all hope in human existence.

But no, after a final day of faffing around and self-reverential drivel, they voted to go back to the voters. Hurrah!

Here, as we go into election mode, are the top ten things I won’t miss about this terrible Commons. Some things on the list will make a reappearance next time, in the new Parliament, others won’t after they have encountered the voters.

1) Bloody Bercow.

2) Anna’s Soubry’s angrier interventions. Tonight’s one – after the Commons voted for an election – was vintage. She claimed MPs had, privately, not wanted an election. They had just voted for one publicly.

3) The ERG.

4) Ian Blackford’s waistcoats.

5) Keith Vaz. Oops, no, the disgraced Labour MP has somehow been reselected this evening.

6) The Fixed Term Parliaments Act. Surely this constitutional monstrosity that created this zombie parliament can’t survive after the election?

7) That twit on College Green shouting – “Stop Brexit!” – on the evening news.

8) Members of the ERG on Newsnight.

9) Members of the ERG on BBC Radio 4’s Today programme.

10) Bercow, again.