We’ve all apparently heard it. It echoes down every street. We hear it from people the moment we knock on their front doors. It’s not “who are you?” or “what do you want?” The first thing out of their mouths is how bored they are of Strictly Come Dancing.

No, no. Don’t deny it. They “want us to get on with it”. They want us to decide so the BBC can get back to “the important business” of wildlife documentaries about the lemur or yet another adaptation of a marginal smudge in Jane Austen’s bankbook that might or might not be the kernel of an idea.

Let’s face it, we’ve been “banging on” about Strictly Come Dancing since 2004 and it’s “about time we settled this once and for all”. When people voted for Natasha Kaplinsky and Brendan Cole fifteen years ago, little did we imagine we’d be asking them to choose again between Michelle Visage (who?), Chris Ramsey (eh?) and Kelvin Fletcher (no idea!) in 2019.

The problem of identifying the UK’s best celebrity hoofer has already seen off one prime time host yet people thought that there’d never get a Saturday night deal as good as Brucie’s. Now we’ve got Tess and Claudia and though their deal is obviously a lot worse, we need to get behind it. We also need to stop the interference of that self-important pipsqueak, Bruno Tonioli, because, when you get down to it, isn’t that the problem when judges get involved? It’s all about the will of the people, people!

At which point my knowledge of light entertainment runs dry but perhaps it’s as well…

The problem of our age sadly isn’t Strictly Come Dancing. It’s Brexit