It’s the national crisis it is impossible to get away from! Especially on social media. Even on Christmas day there will probably be people tweeting about the backstop. But how much Brexit is too much Brexit? Take the handy Reaction test to find out if you need to calm down.
1. Have you started to dream about Brexit? Answer Yes/No.
2. Have you started to think of Twitter as an alternative reality that is somehow meaningful? Answer Yes/No.
If you answered No to question 2 go straight to question 5, if not answer questions 3 and 4.
3. Have you been using Brexit hashtags in your Twitter ID – such as #FBPE, #Standup4Brexit, #
4. Are you taking your own views too seriously? That is do you think your opinions represent some pure continuum constituting inherent truth and that everyone in the country should be aware that you have been right all along? Answer Yes/No.
5. Do you think Brexit is the most important thing that has ever happened in human history, that is it is either a harbinger of the complete and total collapse of civilisation or the greatest development since Winston Churchill stuck it to the Nazis? Answer Yes/No.
6. Are you – or do you think you might be – an MP? Answer Yes/No/Should have been/Could have been if it wasn’t for the voters.
7. Are you an academic, a trade envoy or a legal expert who has spent your life until Brexit being a calm, tolerant, learned person and now you find yourself deploying populist rhetoric and tweeting (sometimes in capital letters) about the liars and the lies? Answer Yes/No.
8. Have you published a no deal Brexit plan featuring your own drawings? Answer Yes/Thinking about it/No.
9. Do you own a pro-EU beret or any other form of Brexit-related clothing? Answer Yes/No.
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10. Again, are you dreaming about Brexit?
Mainly Yes – Please seek help and either a) go and get drunk b) go and talk to your family, or c) go and get drunk with your family.
Roughly half and half, say 52/48 – go back to the beginning and take the test again until you get the correct answer.
Mainly No – Happy Christmas.