Morningside, Edinburgh. Elegant Victorian tenements and sweeps of gracious villas. There are large, expensive cars; at least a fifth of local teenagers attend private schools. Four churches cluster at a crossroads known, inevitably, as Holy Corner; not five minutes down the hill is a bustling Waitrose.

Everything here shrieks class and comfort, decorum and money. Yet Morningside is part of Edinburgh South, a safe Labour seat. Indeed, from 2015 to 2017 Edinburgh South – held by Ian Murray since 2010 – was Labour’s only Westminster toehold in Scotland.

And it’s the affluent western wards of the division that keep electing him – Morningside and Marchmont, Bruntsfield and Blackford and Grange. The dodgy end of Edinburgh South, so Labour for so long, is now a redoubt of the Scottish National Party. The Tories, who held the seat from the Great War till 1987, scored fewer than 10,000 votes in 2017: the Liberal Democrats, who on his first 2010 outing pushed Murray down to a majority of just 316, last time took but 1,388 votes.

Now Ian Murray, 43, is defending a 15,514 majority and 54.9% of that 2017 outing – the safest seat of any defending MP, of any party, and the darling, it seems, of Jean Brodie. (Muriel Spark was born and brought up here, and famous Morningside residents include novelists Ian Rankin and Alexander McCall Smith: even J K Rowling stayed in Morningside for a few years.)

This improbable bastion of socialism is just one aspect of a surreal general election in Scotland. As a whole, this election condenses to two existential questions: what think ye of Brexit? – and whether Boris Johnson or Jeremy Corbyn should be Prime Minister.

But not a single Scottish local-authority area voted Leave in June 2016, nor, out of the fifty-nine Westminster divisions, is there a single Scottish constituency where Labour and the Conservatives share first and second place and are in direct standoff.