Godzilla vs Kong review – even the best CGI can’t make up for a bad script

Directed by horror maestro Adam Wingard, Godzilla vs Kong is the fourth instalment in the Monsterverse film series. Best known as the visionary director behind You’re Next and V/H/S, this is Wingard’s first foray into the monolithic monster series. In the almost one hundred years since Merian C. Cooper directed the first King Kong film, there have been almost fifty iterations from these two legendary franchises, but this is the first time in nearly sixty years that these two titans have fought on screen together. 

Has it been worth the wait?

Godzilla vs Kong is structurally identical to almost every other monster movie. The plot is simple: Godzilla is on the loose and running rampant, so the panic-stricken humans need to get hold of Kong, so that he can defeat Godzilla. For the next 120 minutes we get to watch these two giants thump each other and roll around on the floor like two drunk relatives at a wedding reception. It’s then revealed that the real threat is in fact a giant robot called Mechagodzilla – built by an evil corporation gone rogue. Will the pair team up to defeat Mechagodzilla?

The perennial problem with movies like this is what to do with the human characters. With so much invested in CGI and ostentatious fight sequences, they seem superfluous to the movie. A decent screenplay could probably build an interesting film with characters that have enough emotional depth that the audience will invest time in their development. Sadly Godzilla vs Kong is not that film.

Instead, what we get is a series of convoluted and pointless sub-plots designed to fill time leading up to the film’s final showdown. For example, in order to fight Godzilla, Kong has to be brought back from Skull Island which, for some reason, now seems to resemble the Eden Project in Cornwall. While there, Kong has befriended a young deaf girl called Jia who communicates with him via sign language.

Even the star power of Millie Bobby Brown can’t save the film. Playing Madison Russel, she is given a rather pointless Scooby-Doo style adventure as she and her friend Josh attempt to expose the shady businessman supposedly hellbent on world domination with Mechagodzilla. Their mission is to locate a reclusive conspiracy theorist and ex-Apex employee Bernie Hayes – who they find in record time. I’ll skip over the fact that no specialised task force or law enforcement agencies were capable of finding this person. On their mission, our intrepid group of truth-seekers are able to walk nonchalantly right into a heavily guarded and highly secure secret Apex facility. While attempting to uncover Simmons’ megalomaniacal plans, the trio get locked in a monorail and are conveniently transported to Hong Kong, where they are caught and Mechagodzilla is activated. Cue monstrous battle. 

Besides the fact that the Godzilla vs Kong is the living embodiment of the phrase Deus ex machina, it’s not all bad. The films CGI and special effects are spectacular. Yes the acting is atrocious, but that’s the result of bad writing. Whilst Skarsgård’s performance could suck the emotion out of a room, it was refreshing to see Millie Bobby Brown do something other than just sit on the floor and cry.

I also can’t work out why Mechagodzilla was supposed to be portrayed as a threat. Isn’t the construction of an all powerful weapons defense system a genuine human reaction to a potential extinction level event? 

But it’s not about a storyline is it? If you take it for what it is, a giant monkey slapping a giant lizard, you’ll love it. So far the film has grossed over $285 million worldwide. Not bad for a dumb, but very fun film.