With the energy crisis getting worse by the day and as the country staggers on, rudderless, with Boris Johnson seemingly on endless holidays, you could be forgiven for thinking that the Tory party has a lot on its plate.

Alas, no. While the UK continues to fall apart, the Tories are busy promoting a “patriotic approach to safe sex” – whatever that means.

LGBT+ Conservatives have announced a range of political-themed condoms, ready for the Tory Party conference in Birmingham in October.

The limited-edition rubbers carry slogans such as “strong and stable,” “Unleash Britain’s Potential,” “Honourable Member” and “Labour isn’t working, but this condom will (*99% of the time).”

Elena Banbury, chair of the LGBT Conservatives said: “This is just a small step in the work we have done towards safer sex, but we hope it provides a fun tool and useful memento for all those using them.”

Patrons of the LGBT+ group also enjoyed their own slogans:

Gary Sambrook: Strap it for Sambrook

Peter Gibson: Glove it for Gibbo

Andrew Boff: Boff – Safely

Emma Best: Bang for Best

Nick Rogers: Roger for Nick

It certainly seems as though there might be more important things to think about, but at the very least, they could have come up with slogans for MPs Peter Bone and Mike Wood…