Liz Truss has given a televised interview to Katy Balls, the political editor of The Spectator. Truss explained why everything that went wrong so spectacularly under her leadership wasn’t entirely her fault. There is also a bonus bootleg disc in which Truss is quizzed by assorted hacks. We have obtained a copy.

Katy Balls: “Amazing. I’m going to bring in Robert Peston of ITV.” 

Robert Peston: “Liz Truss.”

Liz Truss: “Yes.”

Robert Peston: “That’s enough about you. What people are asking up and down the country, the country of which you were Prime Minister, not for very long, mind, but you were Prime Minister I think you’ll find…”

Liz Truss: “Yes.”

Robert Peston: “Aaaaaaand, what they’re asking, these people up and down the country, of which you were Prime Minister, albeit not for very long, is quite simply this. Have you read my book?”

Liz Truss: “The thriller?”

Robert Peston: “You should of course read my thriller, but no. If you were looking to avoid craaaaaaaashing the economy, and making the most unbelievable mess of things, though the blame can also be laid at the door, not in its entirety but a portion of it, at the front door of the Bank of England and the regulator for not spotting the LDI problem. And the implausibility of tightening and loosening at the same time, I think I’ve got that the right way round.”

Liz Truss: “I…”

Robert Peston: “Could this appalling mess have been avoided, that’s what people want to know, if you had read my book on the financial crisis?”

Liz Truss: “WTF?”

Robert Peston: “That’s the one.”

Liz Truss: “No. Beth Rigby, Sky News.”

Beth Rigby: “Former Prime Minister. In office for three months, thrown out in humiliating circumstances after completely failing after only three months. How are you feelin?”

Liz Truss: “I’m not going to deny mistakes were made, by Kwasi Kwarteng. I’ve been completely clear about that. But what we have to ask ourselves is…”

Beth Rigby: “How ashamed of what you’ve done are you?”

Liz Truss: (long silence) “Let’s have a question from Christopher Hope of the Telegraph.”

Christopher Hope: “Hi Liz.”

Liz Truss (smiling): “Hello, Chris!”

Christopher Hope: “Liz Truss, a big issue for our readers out there feeling the effects of the cost of living crisis, and needing to hear some good news. What about the possibility of a Royal Yacht?”

Liz Truss: “Chris, I can’t. I’m not…”

Christopher Hope, of the Daily Telegraph: “Could be a national champion? A floating model of global Britain showcasing what’s best about this country?”

Liz Truss: “Well… I…”

Christopher Hope: “The yacht could tour the world. Think of the yacht-based possibilities. British potato producers showcasing their products in Pretoria. Tech companies mooring the yacht in Silicon Valley. The scope for boosting Britain is limitless. And it would provide good value holidays for the Royal family while  reminding everyone of our late Queen.”

Liz Truss: “There were certainly discussions when I was in Downing Street. The King is a yacht person.  I don’t think the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are boat people. But Chris, I’m not Prime Minister, I don’t think I can help on this any more. Who’s next?”

Nadine Dorries, GB News: “Oh Liz.”

Liz Truss: “Nadine.”

Nadine Dorries: “Why did you do it? Why give in to them so easily? And they did you in good and proper, didn’t they? The MSM, the Media Sado-Masochists. And they did in Boris too. Every time. I used to say to Boris when they were gunning for him, Boris, concentrate, Boris, it’s time to put your big boy pants on and get out there and fight like you’re in the fight of your life. As John Major used to say, when your back’s against the wall, turn around and fight. He wouldn’t listen and they got him. Those terrible people, the Media Sado-Masochists. But you Liz, you made it so easy for them. You went all limp. Like a wet lettuce. And then they ran that thing in the Daily Star of a webcam of a lettuce lasting longer in office than you.”

Liz Truss: “Is there a question here?”

Nadine Dorries: “What I’m trying to say is, shouldn’t we get Rishi out and Boris back? Isn’t that what people are crying out for Liz? Me back in the cabinet?”

Dan Wooton, also of GB News: “You are so right Nadine. Go girl. But let’s stop all this Westminster gameplay. Let’s cut right to it. There’s an elephant in the room here that is staring us in the face. It’s right here. In this room. A giant elephant, literally staring us right in the face.”

Liz Truss: “Where?”

Dan Wooton: “It’s a metaphorical giant elephant, Liz, but it’s there and the quiet people of this country can see it clear as day. The blob, Liz. The blob.

Liz Truss: “Is there a blob on the elephant? What am I looking at?”

Dan Wooton: “No, the blob is the giant elephant. The blob who brought you down, Liz. The civil servants and the woke Treasury and the left-wing bond traders in the communist City of London financial district and the CBI and the IMF and MFI. It’s so obvious. It all connects.”

Liz Truss: “You raise some interesting points but I…”

Dan Wooton: “Take down the elephant Liz. Wrestle that elephant to the ground, live on GB News next week with me Dan Wooton. It’s what our viewers are demanding.”

Liz Truss: “I’ll get back to you.”

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