Battle of the brands: which vaccine team are you?

Are you Team Pfizer, Moderna or Oxford/AstraZeneca? Vaccine rivalries are erupting across the worldwide web in the single biggest act of tribalism since “Remain” versus “Leave.”

From Tiktok videos and personalised coffee mugs to T-shirt merchandise, inoculated citizens have been flaunting their “vaccine tribe” where and when they can; with some even likening what-vaccine-you-get to the houses of Westeros and Hogwarts and teams in Pokémon Go. 

A volunteer at a vaccine centre in London likened the vaccine menu to fashion brands, describing how Moderna was the “Dior” of the vaccine catwalk, Pfizer was the “Whistles/Hobbs”, Oxford/Astrazenca was “M&S clothing” and poor old Johnson & Johnson was, well, “Primark.”

While each vaccine is safe and effective, tribe loyalty runs deep. Now that more than 43 million people in the UK have received at least one dose of a coronavirus vaccine and a hypothetical sorting hat has dictated their vaccine tribe – please refer to this unofficial guide of what each vaccine clique means:

Moderna:

Due to its priceyness and scarcity, Moderna is often seen as the “haute couture” of vaccines. The aforementioned volunteer – who shall remain nameless for legal reasons – was caught encouraging people to strut out of the venue as if they just picked up a three-piece suit from Dior.

She explained how Moderna was by far the best as it was the most expensive of the vaccines and may just “contain traces of gold.” Therefore, receiving the jab would, naturally, make you à la mode-rna. 

The volunteer also explained how #TeamModerna was by far superior, as the country singer Dolly Parton had donated $1m toward its creation, meaning those with Moderna – and only those with Moderna – can merrily sing “Vaccine” to the hum of “Jolene”. Try that for size Pfizer.

Pfizer 

Closely related to Moderna (as both are from the popular mRNA family) is the Pfizer vaccine. Yet according to The Atlantic and across the TikTok demographic, Pfizer is the “hot person” vaccine and is far “cooler” than its high-cost relative.

The vaccine, produced by the major pharmaceutical manufacturer partnered with the German firm BioNTech, appears to be the most popular vaccine across social media. The camaraderie of #TeamPfizer is tangible. They see themselves as the victorious “PfizerPflock” or the “Pfizer Princesses” or the “Pfizer Pfaries” and cuss anyone who didn’t have a vaccine that begin with the letter “P.”

Elite, popular and efficacious, you will spot those in #TeamPfizer from a mile off and, in case you don’t, you can be sure they’ll tell you.

Oxford/AstraZeneca 

Unusually for those with the Oxford vaccine, instead of flaunting that they went there received it, the recipients have stayed unusually quiet.

Despite being a perfectly safe and effective vaccine, the bad press associated with blood clots only exacerbated its reputation as the “boring”, “budget” vaccine. 

But let’s not forget this vaccine was not only made on home turf, it was also non-profit and made by a team of primarily female scientists. 

In other words, it may be less desirable “on paper”, but those with the vaccine are by default, patriotic, philanthropic and champions of equality – take that Big Pharma.

But whatever your chosen brand, let’s unite over the fact all Covid-19 vaccines protect and benefit people and communities and that each day, jab-by-jab, we are getting closer to some semblance of normality.