Adam Boulton Diary: Boris’ masochism strategy

What the French termed “le vice anglais” evolved in British political circles into Tony Blair’s “masochism strategy”. The Prime Minister deliberately went out in public to provoke a beating by his critics.

The Blairite behaviour wasn’t strictly for love of punishment. His mantra was no gain without pain, or, in more optimistic moments, if it’s not hurting it isn’t working. The New Labour government hoped that they could absorb the blows of their fiercest critics and then move forward with their policy, most specifically building acquiescence to joining the invasion of Iraq. It worked – for a time.

Boris Johnson is notoriously sheepish about being called to account personally. But he is not shy about exposing the nation to hard pounding. I am not talking about Brexit itself which was described by the stridently Remainer writer Ian McEwan as “the most pointless, masochistic ambition ever dreamed of in the history of these islands” and which seems to fill hardcore Leavers on the other side with orgasmic delight. More relevant are the ways in which we in England – and it is English behaviour which is the issue – have handled our affairs since.

From foreign policy to coronavirus, John Bull’s new masochism strategy is to take maximum pain but with no clear idea of what gain there may be, beyond the satisfaction of enduring it.

In fighting the pandemic England has switched from one tactic to another with no clear reason for why and when each change of policy was justified. As ministers never tired of reminding us – except when implementing a U-turn – “the science” which we have “to follow” is “uncertain”. The result of the experiments is clear all the same. We are still going through one of the longest and most disruptive lockdowns in the world while also suffering one of the worst death rates. Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland have been under more plodding leadership each moving less quickly to ease restrictions but, so far, while hit as badly they seem to have contained the outbreak more quickly.

Almost incredibly, seventeen weeks into an official emergency Cabinet ministers are still arguing among themselves whether or not masks should be worn. Must we “muzzle” the British bulldog? The failure to agree an answer, whether the answer is yes or no, simply prolongs the agony of indecision.

Given the results of the 2016 referendum and the elections since then it is understandable that the rush to “Get Brexit Done” has meant rejecting every EU offer of collaboration on respirators, PPE and vaccines as well as refusing to contemplate extending the transition period. Each of these decisions will only make the going harder in the immediate future.

While we are pushing the European Union away we are no clearer who we want to be friends with from now on. In the thuggish persona of their ambassador Liu Xaoming, the Chinese government is already flexing its muscles to dish out “consequences” to John Bull for having the impudence not to buy Huawei’s intrusive 5G technology.

Far from admitting the obvious – which is that in the end we will always choose our American allies – ministers claim it is a mere technical decision, sliding over the fact that it is the US which changed the technology by refusing to supply its semiconductors.

Donald Trump claimed personal credit for the UK’s decision and that only made things harder.

John Bull knows that the overwhelming majority of the British people can’t stand this President. He is also agonising over what to put in his belly. He has an undying love for the rolling pastures and roast beef of Olde England but his free market principles, and bullying Uncle Sam, tell him he should stomach hormone injected meat and poultry washed in chlorine.

John Bull hates red tape – that’s why he turned his back on the EU. Unfortunately, the process of leaving is generating reams more British-woven tape and twenty HGV parks dotted across the Garden of England.

Does the UK want to be Singapore-on-Sea or to have higher standards for workers and goods than our neighbours in Europe? Do we want lower taxes or should we start to pay off the cost of Covid? Is HS2 a good or a bad idea? Does it matter if the UK disintegrates provided England still gets its way?

John Bull likes the sound of both sides of these arguments and has scratched his head till it bleeds without making up his mind.

The UK has a government with a substantial parliamentary majority and a Prime Minister and top advisor both set on eliminating all who oppose them. If only they had a clue what to do.

I have a suspicion that this is just the way we like it: muddling through on our own, taking whatever is thrown in our direction. As much as Britannia or John Bull embody England so does the character Mona Lott from the wartime radio comedy ITMA. “It’s being so cheerful as keeps me going” was her catchphrase.