Confidence vote: time for the Tories to boot out Boris

What would Queen Victoria have made of it? She might have concluded that this extraordinary spectacle, stretching from her memorial outside Buckingham Palace all the way down the Mall to Admiralty Arch, would have signalled the passing of any order that she had understood. Yet she might also have reflected that at the time of her Diamond Jubilee, Europe had three emperors and one empress: her.

With Indian independence, that British Imperial title passed away. But it had only been a novelty – a brief interlude in the long history of the British Monarchy. The other empires, apparently much more central to their subjects’ lives, had ended with flight, exile, or murder. Captains and kings had departed, as Kipling had prophesied. Navies were not what they had been. But Her Majesty, our Queen, still reigns, on her throne and in the hearts of the vast majority of her subjects.

There was also a remarkable occurrence over the weekend, which might almost be regarded as a mark of divine favour. England won a test match.

For the Mall, some of us would have preferred a different ceremony, with more of what we would regard as music. One admired Prince Charles’s stoicism, sitting there pretending to enjoy that stuff. But we traditionalists had the Trooping of the Colour, and St Paul’s.

The crowd outside St Paul’s hardly counts as an opinion poll. All the same, we can assume that they were not the sort of people who are natural boo-ers. Yet they booed the Prime Minister. That is significant. Such aesthetic revulsion at the sight of Boris Johnson on the steps of the Cathedral tells us what many of the plain people of England are thinking.

There followed a delicious example of dramatic irony. The PM had to read the following passage. “Whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” We know that hypocrisy is the tribute which vice pays to virtue. Even so. Boris ought to be congratulated for uttering those words without corpsing, as the actors would say. Apropos corpsing, the Almighty should be congratulated for his restraint, in the matter of thunderbolts. Hypocrisy is certainly the nearest that this PM will ever come to virtue.

As the imminent confidence vote attests, a growing number of Boris’s colleagues are of that mind. These days, leader-icide is a messy business. It is easy to understand why many Tory MPs have hung back and tried to find an excuse for delay. But I remember a conversation with a wise former Cabinet minister just after Boris won the leadership. The relationship between him and the Party will always be contractual, he concluded. If they think that he will win an election, they’ll stick by him. If not, not. Now, it is very much not.

The lies are part of this. When Boris was 17, his wise housemaster, that distinguished classicist Martin Hammond, wrote to his father Stanley – not the ideal recipient – that his son ought to understand one important point. The chains of obligation which bind societies together should also apply to him. He never has. To be fair to him, this is not a matter of thinking that now he is Prime Minister, he can do what he likes. He has always believed that he could do what he likes – and not do what he does not like. That latter includes thinking out government policy.

A million years ago, I was part of the back-up team on Weekend World, when Brian Walden was the interviewer. We produced serious programmes on government policy, including searching interviews. We would now have been wanting to interview the Prime Minister on inflation, growth and the prospects for the British economy. Margaret Thatcher appeared at least once a year, and always gave the impression of relishing test match bowling. Imagine Boris? Of course, he would never appear on such a programme. His staff would not allow it. But if they did, the outcome would be painful. Political opponents might relish the comedy.

Everyone else ought to find it deeply alarming. This is supposed to be a serious country, and we are facing serious difficulties. Millions of people are anxious. They would like to be told what is happening. They would like to be reassured that even if those in charge do not have all the answers, they are devoting formidable powers of moral and intellectual seriousness to addressing the problems. Yet we have a grotesque goof clowning around as if he cannot wait to get back to the latest party in No.10.

Long before Weekend World, like most other small boys, I read war comics. In the context of the Second World War, there would often be references to bazookas. I am not sure that I have used that word in the last 60-plus years. Yet last week, Boris Johnson did, while notionally explaining his government’s economic policy. You could not make it up. 

That has one advantage. It is making it harder for Tory MPs to claim that they have a plausible Leader. Nadine Dorries has tried. That is also helpful. It reminds Tory MPs that only Boris would have put her in the Cabinet. Grant Shapps is also working hard. Although little Shapps is better than Nadine, few people have ever regarded him as an homme serieux. Unlike Nadine, he probably would not put people off. Nor will anyone who is not already in the Bojo camp be persuaded.

On the other wing, the counting has begun. One by no means excitable opponent of Boris’s believes that he can count 160 who will abandon the PM in the confidence vote. That is bound to be an underestimate. The momentum is with Boris’s foes. There is agreement that the last thing the party needs is a Boris who has scraped back by a couple of votes – which he would proclaim as a triumph – thus dooming the party to drift and dissension.

He has failed and it is time to leave him to the judgment of history. Is this the most worthless man ever to become PM? In moral terms, Lloyd George was pretty low-grade, but he had other off-setting qualities. Wilson was a useless prime minister but a better human being. Boris: there is only one summary. A man without any redeeming features. 

It is time for his party to recognise that, and redeem itself.