For top independent schools, sex abuse claims are just bad PR

At a dinner party the hostess swore blind that her son was at “the best school in the country, its teachers are the best.” 

By coincidence I know one of those teachers. He told me that at the school, which is selective and costs £20,000 plus a year, there was often little for him to do – he might as well not be there. “The boys are so clever I don’t have to do much.” As for slackers, they were driven on by their pushy parents. 

This school is one of those featuring heavily in the flood of sex abuse allegations posted on the Everyone’s Invited website. It’s a famous establishment, always high in the league tables, its Oxbridge successes are trumpeted as some sort of triumph, its head makes regular appearances in the national media. This is somewhat bizarre since he opines on all manner of aspects of children’s education – when, day-to-day, his job could not be further removed from trying to manage a school in the state sector. 

The feeling persists that many of those schools now being denounced on Everyone’s Invited put PR and grades before teaching decent behaviour to their charges and when complaints are made they bury them rather than attract any negativity. They put great store by their catchy mission statements and slogans. In truth, too often all that matters are grades and prizes – academic, sporting and cultural. 

A friend of ours had a son at one of those schools. He missed the entry requirement for the sixth form by one grade. He loved the school, had a great group of friends, was never in trouble. He was denied a place – this despite him writing a personal letter to the headmaster pleading to be allowed to remain. He had to go elsewhere. His confidence was broken and it knocked him back. All for what? Because they couldn’t create a precedent, apparently. The fact someone else came in who was more likely to secure higher marks was not mentioned – but everyone thought it. 

They rely on feeding a sense of entitlement. By definition most of the children who go there hail from well-off backgrounds – some may be on means-tested grants,  but not many. The press will feature the instances of the parent who has made great sacrifices, who has scrimped and saved for their son or daughter to attend and wear the blazer, but these really are just that. Instances. 

The fathers and mothers have done well in their own careers and they expect the same for their offspring. If they didn’t go to Oxbridge themselves they’re all too aware of the value those degrees bring, how they’ve had to strive to get to the top but it’s been hard and they’ve been lucky. Those who appear to be there more by right are the Oxford and Cambridge graduates and they want that for their kids. So non-Oxbridge parents can be even pushier than the Oxbridge ones.

They want the best and that means those schools. As for the schools themselves, they’ve long ago discovered that if you keep ramming home the same message then you will be believed, even if it’s patently not true. They are the best because they say they are, and because schools guides and newspaper features agree they are and encourage them to put up plaques to that effect – and to pay to advertise just how they are the best. 

Tell your children just how lucky they are to attend the school, remind them repeatedly how they belong in the very highest percentage, constantly inform their parents how brilliant they are for sending their wonderful children to the wonderful school – and so it goes round. 

They maintain that in this atmosphere they take the trouble to teach humility and caring for the opposite sex and those less fortunate than themselves. Of course they do, it comes far ahead of their A-stars and Oxbridge totals, the sporting and music and drama glories – it’s how they’re judged, it is really. To which I emit a loud boyish noise and wave my hand vigorously in a rude male gesture. 

What’s unfortunate is that those schools which have their reputations and standing to protect will likely cast out those boys thought to have behaved badly. The boys deserve to be punished if guilty but I can’t help suspecting we’re into making an example here, or rather, being seen to be making an example, to be taking the accusations seriously. It would be unfortunate if the claims were unfounded but this is about public relations. What are the phrases these schools like to hold dear? Ah yes: take it like a man, bring it on, grin and bear it, keep a stiff upper lip, taking one for the team. That loud sound you hear is of a stampede, of heads and boards of governors charging to bolt stable doors. 

What you will witness – and it’s already started – is the private sector stressing that sexual abuse and misogyny affects all schools everywhere; it’s not confined to the independents. That’s true but perish the thought they’re attempting to shift the spotlight away, so that they can return to their bubble of self-congratulation and self-adoration. 

They will maintain they’ve got the issue dealt with, that it’s not so awful, it was a few rogue boys, their system was not to blame. In some cases, they’ve contacted the police. They’re absorbing the lessons – the whole episode was unfortunate, but it’s over. 

Because the schools say so, the parents will believe them. The parents have no choice, they have to keep the faith because they chose to lock themselves in, to go along with the great lie. These are the best schools, with the best teachers, and the best boys. Did anyone say best parents? Them as well. It’s true, I tell you.