PMQs: Johnson totters as Davis wields the knife

On what was predicted to be a make-or-break PMQs for Boris Johnson, the Commons chamber was full to the brim with MPs champing at the bit to get a ringside seat for the latest political opera. From the overture to the finale, the chamber saw drama that will fill the pages of history books for decades to come. It was never going to be smooth sailing for the beleaguered – and allegedly teary – Prime Minister after weeks of damaging allegations. Still, this particular session was political theatre at its prime. 

Only ten minutes before PMQs began, the jaw-dropping news that Conservative MP Christian Wakeford was defecting to Labour sent tremors through Parliament. And just as the Prime Minister thought we could head off for lunch and deny any wrongdoing, the Conservative heavyweight David Davis dealt an earth-shattering blow, telling Johnson to “in the name of God – go.”

The PM entered the chamber looking surprisingly spritely – perhaps he had beat his chest in the bathroom mirror and channeled the “strong like bull” mindset moments before – and kicked off proceedings with a reminder to the Speaker and the opposition of his party’s list of achievements, from the booster programme to scrapping plan B measures. 

After the first question from Lib Dem MP Wendy Chamberlain about breaking Covid-19 regulation, we got a taste of the Prime Minister’s well-trodden line of defence when he reiterated his “wait for the results of Sue Gray’s inquiry next week.”

Like a kid in a candy shop, Sir Keir Starmer jumped to attention but first, welcomed his new colleague, the MP for Bury South. A lively Sir Keir reminded the public that Johnson was simply incapable of offering the “leadership this country deserves” and that every day he continues to deliver “absurd and frankly unbelievable” defences to the parties that took place in Downing Street. 

On either side, a chorus of cheers, boos and harrumphs to which Starmer humorously retorted: “Mr Speaker, I’m seeing a very noisy crowd. I’m sure the Chief Whip has told them to bring their own booze.” Starmer was not short of jokes today, and delivered another quip later on when asking for Johnson to resign. “At least the staff at No.10 know how to pack a suitcase.”

Firing on all cylinders, Starmer then reminded the Speaker of the PM’s pitiful excuses, from saying there were no parties, to saying he was aware of the parties but was absent, to saying it was a “work event”, to his latest – that nobody told him it was against the rules  Against a troublesome backdrop of a cost-of-living and fuel crisis and inflation hitting 5.4%, Starmer reminded the public that the Conservative government was spending more time getting caught up in a web of lies than it was in creating meaningful policy. 

With gusto, Johnson told the leader of the opposition to wait for the outcome of the inquiry, reminding us once more that the show ain’t over until that Sue Gray lady sings.

He also told MPs that if we had gone along with Labour’s timetable, we would have stayed in restrictions for Christmas and New Year and our economy would have taken another massive hit. 

Throughout the fiery exchange, Johnson hammered home to Sir Keir and MPs that it is down to all the hard work done in Downing Street that we have “the fastest growing economy in the G7”, “GDP is above pre-pandemic levels”, “youth unemployment is at an all-time low” and we had the “fastest vaccine roll out of all of Europe.” Clearly some work better on hangovers than others. 

But it was the “Et tu, Bruté?” moment from David Davis that delivered a climactic curtain call. From the vantage point of the backbenches, the prominent Conservative MP, former Brexiter and cabinet minister, threw a knife in the PM’s back. “Like many of these benches I have spent weeks and months defending the Prime Minister, I reminded them of his success in delivering Brexit and the vaccines. But I expect my leaders to shoulder the responsibility for the actions they take. Yesterday he did the opposite of that.” 

An embittered Davis then twisted the knife to deliver the final sting, reviving a quote of Leo Amery to Neville Chamberlain. “You have sat there too long for all the good you have done,” he said. “In the name of God, go.”

Et Tu Bruté indeed.