Save our sausages: labour shortages imperil Christmas pigs in blankets

There is a point in every crisis when the magnitude of what is unfolding is brought home. In the UK currently, it’s pigs in blankets. 

That’s right, those small sausages wrapped in bacon – a requisite, it seems, of every Christmas meal. Forget the turkey, goose, sprouts, roast potatoes, parsnips, bread sauce, stuffing, cranberry, pudding – it’s pigs in blankets that count. So much so that their threatened absence this coming season might just be the clincher in bringing this government to its senses. 

Britain is facing a chronic labour shortage. On Friday night, at a restaurant our pre-dinner drinks took forever to arrive. When we sat down, the food was also slow in coming. Why? Lack of bar, waiting and kitchen staff. Throughout the place they were struggling to keep up. 

That experience is being repeated up and down the land. My pal who runs a pubs and restaurants group now has 140 vacancies on his books. We were lucky to get a meal at all – another friend, also in the same industry, is now closing his outlets most days of the week because he has not got enough workers. 

Ministers have heard tales like this, of course they have. As have backbenchers who are badgering them with complaints from their constituents. They also know the gaps are not only in the hospitality sector, but across all areas of the economy, in food manufacturing, construction, computer programming, video gaming, anywhere in fact that relied upon people from the EU. So far, they’ve done precious little about it. 

That may now shift. Once the words “Save Our Sausages” or SOS (geddit) start appearing in tabloid headlines, politicians realise they must act. For those who went to boarding school, and there are plenty of those in this administration, the prospect of being denied the greasy comfort of a cooked sausage is too horrific to contemplate. They’re aware, as well, that’s how the public see it. 

So that’s why the warning from the British Meat Processors Association is timely. BMPA chief executive Nick Allen says that on average, BMPA members are around 12 – 13 per cent short in staff, with one company missing about a fifth of its workforce. “Some of the pig processors are having to cut down on how many pigs they are processing a week so that’s starting to have an impact back on the farm. We are cutting back and prioritising lines and cutting out on things, so there just won’t be the totals of Christmas favourites like we are used to.”

Allen reckons the usual demand for pigs in blankets totals 40 million packets, but this year that could be cut by a third. Gammon supplies could be similarly affected. Forget gammon Nick, stick to sausages if you want to achieve cut through with an Eton PM, Winchester Chancellor and Eton Business Secretary. 

Seriously, though, what are they going to do? Another statistic. Helen Dickinson, chief executive of the British Retail Consortium, says: “The UK faces a shortfall of 90,000 HGV drivers and it is consumers who will ultimately suffer for this. So far, disruption has been minimal, thanks to the incredible work by retailers and their suppliers.” Dickinson adds: “Retailers are increasing pay rates [Waitrose is upping its pay for lorry drivers to £54k a year], offering bonuses and introducing new driver training schemes, as well as directly supporting their suppliers in the movement of goods, but government will need to play its part. We are calling on the government to rapidly increase the number of HGV driving tests taking place, provide temporary visas for EU drivers, and to make changes on how HGV driver training can be funded.”

Ministers have yet to fully respond. There is no sign of an urgent, all-embracing plan to plug the yawning holes appearing in UK Plc. 

Perhaps they cannot bring themselves to admit they never saw this coming, that having railed against the EU they did not suppose immigrants from there might decide to return home, to where they were actively welcomed. Certainly, it would require the difficult swallowing of a large morsel of sausage to now admit a mistake has been made and begin offering EU permits. 

Possibly, also, they believe the situation may improve once Covid vanishes. It’s true that the pandemic has exacerbated the problem and when pinging was at its height, staff scarcities were even greater. But we’re now through the adult vaccination programme and looking to implement boosters, and still Covid remains. This is about as normal as we’re going to be for the foreseeable future, until the world has defeated the virus. 

The only advice the government is giving is for businesses to invest in domestic workers. Kwasi Karteng, the Business Secretary, has written to industry groups urging employers to help the “many UK-based workers [who] now face an uncertain future and need to find new employment opportunities”. Kwarteng writes: “I am sure you would agree on the importance of utilising the strength of our domestic workforce and how our migration policies need to be considered alongside our strategies to ensure UK-based workers are better able to secure decent employment opportunities.”

In some respects, his approach is correct – for far too long, many British firms have sought instant, often cheaper, employees from overseas rather than encouraging and nurturing homegrown skills and talent. They’ve become used to offering low salaries and making high profits (in areas, such as fast food and supermarket essentials, it’s also the case that we, as consumers, have become fond of paying low prices). 

Kwarteng, though, must know that this can only be a long-term solution. Recruiting and training are not going to occur immediately. The government must be less black and white on this, and compromise. Businesses need to be able to find the workers they need right now, while at the same time, they must set out to provide workers in the UK with the requisite expertise. It’s a balance, and the government must play its part, in relaxing its immigration rules to let needed people back in – and to be seen to want them back in – while encouraging and incentivising businesses to provide training schemes. Similarly, those already here must be motivated to want to retrain and to work. 

In the meantime, until the government really does act, the pressure will continue to build. We could, of course, make our own pigs in blankets, and wrap the bacon around the sausages ourselves. No chance, we’re far too lazy for that. SOS, now!