Last week, the Government banned sex. Legislation laid before Parliament on the 1 June prohibited any gathering that is “indoors” and “consists of two or more persons”, and even went so far as to specify that a gathering is “when two or more people are present together in the same place in order to engage in any form of social interaction with each other, or to undertake any other activity with each other”. “Other activity”: we get it, Boris. You want us to keep our pants on.