The audacity of nope: Starmer spells out gloomy message

Britain’s Prime Minister informed the nation that “things are worse than we ever imagined”, as he made an address today from the very spot in Downing Street’s rose garden where Boris Johnson held his infamous wine and cheese lockdown party 32 months ago.

In a column for The Times, Starmer explained that the “symbolic” venue was chosen to deliberately juxtapose Labour’s “service-oriented” government with the “self-centred” and hypocritical Tory administrations of the past, and to signal that Downing Street, and its garden, were back in the service of the public.

Rather than rousing Britons towards unity, trust, and a brighter future under a new government though, the actual address fell flat against the floral backdrop, as the platitude-ridden lecture came off as deflective, thorny, and mired in history.

Particular focus was given to the “deep rot” the Tories let fester in the British government. In keeping with the natural venue, Starmer analogized that the rot must be tackled at its root, which he sees as the £22 billion all-consuming budgetary black hole.

Despite the political theatre of the setting, Starmer insisted that this national finance gripe was far from “performative” as the Office for Budgetary Responsibility itself was unaware of the appalling problem’s scale until Labour ascended to office. 

The Tories were not only lambasted for poor accounting, but were also blamed for empowering riot-provoking populism by offering snake oil and the “politics of performance” over real changes. From the small boats to prisons to NHS waitlists, the past government was relentlessly hounded for its inadequacies.

Starmer attests that his government, on the other hand, will cut through to the people-pleasing politics with “painful decisions”, the burden of which must be borne by those with the “broadest shoulders”.

Clearly hinting at a tax rise, Starmer refused to elaborate on who will be affected by the budget-correcting measures. According to him, these unspecified taxes, along with winter fuel allowance cuts and prisoner releases, are necessary evils setting the foundations for a prosperous, functional, and transparent government.

For a speech centred on such transparency however, the PM was surprisingly evasive when questioned on alleged politically-motivated civil service appointments which critics are calling acts of blatant cronyism.

Starmer stands accused of parachuting top Labour donors into senior positions in the Treasury and the new Department for Science, Innovation, and Technology. Among those scrutinised are Ian Corfield and Emily Middleton, who collectively contributed at least £85,000 to Labour candidates before being appointed to their respective senior roles in the service. Following the backlash, Corfield has reportedly opted not to take up the civil service job and will instead act as an unpaid ministerial appointment. 

Additional complaints are arising over a Downing Street security pass gifted to TV magnate and Labour mega-donor, Waheed Alli. The pass – intended for staff, family, and senior officials – was defended by Starmer as only being provided to Alli for one gathering. Nevertheless, as no fundraising events are allowed to occur on government property, and given Alli’s close connections to Rayner, Lammy, Phillipson, Gray, and others, the move has elicited significant condemnation.

The PM was also pressed on the cancellation of General Gwyn Jenkins appointment as national security adviser, who was originally advanced for the role by Sunak. Dismissive once again, Starmer stated that he won’t “discuss individual appointments”, but insisted there will be an “open and transparent process”. His response will do little to allay the concerns of critics that a loyalist will be shoehorned in, further undermining the impartiality of the service.

Starmer’s pessimism and persistent evasiveness cast a dark shadow over a sunny garden in which he could have sowed the seeds of optimism. It is an odd approach for a new PM to take.

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