The rise of the underground haircut
In Judges 16:15-17, Samson confessed that he would lose his strength if his hair were ever shaved. After tempting fate, Delilah brought in a Philistine who cut Samson’s hair whilst he slept, thereby draining him of all his strength. Fast forward thousands of years and a few pandemics later, and even Samson would be chomping at the bit for a freshly trimmed barnet. However, since the lockdown first began on the 23rd of March, hairdressers and barbershops – bastions of gaiety and gossip – have had to shut their doors and, with that, shut off any chances of an evenly-layered hairdo.
Brits up and down the country have taken different paths as a result of these closures. Some have let nature run its course, others have taken to a blunt pair of kitchen scissors to try their hand at DIY. Yet, some have refused such binaries and have been booking underground haircuts. These ‘cut-and-runs’ are technically illegal under the current lockdown restrictions and, as a result, are being conducted on the sly. But you only need to look as far as Gumtree to see endless advertisements for a: “Mobile Barber: 100% satisfaction!”, “Afro and European hairdresser available”, “Award-winning hair stylist free”. When it comes to picking between petty crime or a pretty chop, the latter seems to be a risk worth taking.
As I am writing this, a woman across the street pops outside for a cigarette in perfectly placed silver foils, glinting in the mid-morning sun. She returns, like a phoenix from the ashes, with perfectly highlighted and blow-dried hair. As I marvelled upon this honey blonde-dyed bird, I started looking out to see if others had followed suit. Walking around the streets of East London, an awakening ensued; many female residents seemed to have no root regrowth and some male residents have questionably short, sharp edges.
Upon greater investigation, I was shocked to find out just how many had been engaging in this black market hairdressing. It turns out these mobile hairdressers tend to be freelancers or temporarily unemployed, making appointments in clients’ home, in some cases at theirs, for cuts, colours and blow-dries. The hairdressers’ clients are all beneficiaries from word-of-mouth, online advertisements, and occasionally, the odd flyer. A Suffolk-based confidant tells me that a hairdresser has been visiting him and his family for all of the lockdowns: “We found her online, and she’s come to be a permanent fixture. She comes masked every three or four weeks to cut all four of us. Not just for us but for a lot of family friends too.”
In London, mobile hairdressing seems to be increasingly commonplace. A Stockwell-based informant tells me how she used the same hairdresser from March up until now: “I’m not kidding when I say around 90% of my friends have used her in their own time of need. She comes with all of her equipment and does cuts and highlights. You get none of the fancy head-massages, and you have to wash your own hair, but my god, it was worth it. I couldn’t wait any longer for hairdressers to reopen, I’d look like Hagrid.”
Similarly, another Bayswater-based confidante explains her experience: “I found out about this hairdresser through my sister, and he then did both my friend and my highlights. The hairdresser told us to tell our friends about him and to spread the word as he’s continuing business as normal. It must be said, though, I did think it was strange he didn’t wear any PPE.” The mobile hairdresser also told this client that “business was booming” for him and that he has had hundreds of people contacting him regularly for a “quarantine cut”.
Although on the surface, having an illegal trim and bouncy blow-dry may seem like a minor crime, it still has ramifications for the continued spread of Covid-19 – especially when many of these hairdressers and their clients have yet to be vaccinated. I asked another source – who visits his barber at his home in West London for regular trim – if his barber was worried about spreading coronavirus. He replied: “Ultimately, I think there are a lot of factors at play. One is his way of living and paying rent, and he doesn’t have any other means of income. Secondly, his customer base is young, which means the customers can go to him, so the onus is not all on him. Thirdly, he is very strict with wearing a mask, hand sanitising and always leaves a window open. I don’t know anyone not doing it because of a moral obligation.”
This week, Prime Minister Boris Johnson unveiled a date for the re-opening of hairdressers and beauty salons. The 12th of April is when non-essential shops and personal care premises like hairdressers and nail salons can once more fling open their doors.
The coronavirus outbreak has been a huge blow to hairdressers and to barbershops, and like many workers some have been forced to find ways make ends meet. Underground haircuts may be booming for now, but it’s only a matter of time before hairy Brits can descend in their legally-backed droves – looking like a cross between Stig of the Dump and Chewbacca – and fall into the safety of the salon. Here, you will be swept to the sink, washed clean and head-massaged into a euphoric state of bliss. They’ll towel you up, whisk you to your temporary throne and brush and dry you into a state that’ll leave you strutting out like Miss (or Mr) Congeniality after an industrial-sized makeover. If you ask me, it can’t come soon enough.