Ever since Dominic Cummings, strategic guru to Boris Johnson, issued his proclamation demanding that weirdos, misfits, lunatics and unusual economists apply to help remodel Britain, the media has been scrambling to find out who Dom will be hiring in the January transfer window. Well, Reaction has seen the shortlist. It’s pretty extraordinary. Today we can reveal the exciting identities of the intrepid souls who will soon remake our country in their own image.

1) Farti Moped – the Italian physicist and knitwear model. Moped is resting, for now, in his native Bologna.