Sketch – bit of a weird Budget, bad jokes and very light on Brexit

Chancellor Philip Hammond kicked off his budget speech by repeating Theresa May’s favourite soundbite of late: “Today I can report to the British people that their hard work is paying off and that the era of austerity is finally coming to an end.” This was the central theme of the last budget before the UK’s leaves the European Union.

The supposedly sunny scenario could never have arisen under a Labour government, he claimed: “The tough decision of the past 8 years were not driven by ideology, they were driven by necessity and by the failure of the party opposite.” He restated that Britain’s economy was now at a turning point, and that is no thanks to those populating the opposition benches.

Before embarking on the details, Hammond was careful to emphasise the favourable economic position Britain now sees itself in. Having cleared up “the aftermath of Labour’s great recession” we now have seen “8 straight years of economic growth”, “higher employment and lower unemployment”, “wages growing at their fastest pace in almost a decade” – “an economy not working for the few, not even for the many, an economy working for everyone.” Camera pans to an already puce-faced Corbyn and back to an already smug Hammond.

After an unexpectedly strong start from Hammond – hardly an inspiring parliamentarian – he moved straight into Brexit. He announced an increase in funding allocation to government departments to the tune of £2bn for Brexit preparation. And, while he and the cabinet are “confident” that they will secure a deal, they are not “complacent.” As expected he said they are preparing for every eventuality. Beyond that Brexit received almost no air-time – which is a bit weird considering that it’s all anyone at Westminster has been talking about for the past two years.

Clearly aware of the sense of tedium that any budget speech can induce, the chancellor seemed concerned to pepper policy announcements with some humour – however, it lacked the desired effect as Philip Hammond tells jokes much in the same way as a dad giving a speech at his daughter’s wedding. “Fiscal Phil says fiscal rules ok” he told MPs. Is that a reference that has gone over my head? Or has someone asked a Treasury civil servant to write the jokes again?

As for policy and spending, Hammond hit his stride over the NHS. With the Prime Minister having announced earlier this year an extra £20bn per year funding for the NHS, Hammond added that a significant portion of this will be directed towards a new NHS Mental Health Crisis Service. Then, onto social care, defence, schooling – Hammond rattled through a number of new spending commitments. Housing policy, the environment, local government and high streets all received favourable treatment – small independent retailers in the UK will have their business rates cut by 1/3, Hammond announced.

Perhaps there is something in Hammond’s assertion that Britain is at an economic turning point. As BBC Political Editor Laura Kuenssberg noted, “it is certainly the promise of a change of direction.”

While John McDonnell and Jeremy Corbyn have dedicated large swathes of their political careers to ending capitalism, Hammond’s political motivation, he said, is “reinvigorating capitalism… because I want Britain to be one of the great winners of the technological revolution.” With that, Hammond announced a new Digital Services Tax – a narrowly targeted tax to tech companies who profit from their digital platforms in the UK. He was keen to emphasise that it would be the tech giants, and not startups, that will shoulder this burden. “And I am already looking forward to my call from the former leader of the Liberal Democrats” Hammond added, referencing Nick Clegg’s new position as Head of Global Affairs at Facebook. Hammond had announced a tax on Nick Clegg, surely a popular policy.

There was a restatement of Tory confidence (lacking of late) in Universal Credit, the new welfare policy which has been going through epic teething problems. It “replaces a broken system left by the last Labour government” he said, before announcing an extra £1bn funding to aid the transition.

To round off, the Chancellor stuck to the claim that Britain’s economy is at a turning point, and that it is thanks to Conservative management and austerity. Corbyn’s party’s idea of ending austerity is to raise taxes, send debts soaring and to “squander hard-won achievements” bringing the UK “back to square one,” said the Chancellor.

The whole event was a bit weird. Hammond seemed to be very pleased with his Digital Services Tax, extra funding for potholes and jibes at Labour, while spending little time on Brexit. It was like a budget delivered for a parallel universe.