“I’m free!” Like an obliging shop assistant in a 1970s television comedy set in a department store, Keir Starmer volunteers his services to resolve Britain’s immigration crisis, in collaboration with the nice people who run the European Union. Why did nobody think of it before? Outsource the decisions on who enters Britain to the talented énarques who control the Brussels and Paris bureaucracies and we can all move on. Job done.

It seems that Sir Keir Starmer, in his busy life as Leader of His Majesty’s Loyal Opposition, does not find time to read the newspapers or online news. Otherwise, he might have noticed, even within the confines of the earthly paradise that is the European Union, a growing concern over mass immigration, increasingly amounting to a populist insurgency.