Open the windows and crank up the record player
An obligation to avoid “non-necessary contact” shouldn’t prevent you imposing your preferences on other people.
Never take off your dressing gown
Why is Tony Soprano’s dressing gown so iconic? He seems to wear it all the time, whether he is swigging Tropicana, calling in a favour, authorising a hit, or just hanging out with the fam… It’s time to develop your own mystique.
Don’t watch a television programme over lunch
That way lies great peril. One can become two, two can become three and before you know it, it’s teatime.
Regulate biscuit consumption
So that you don’t end up eating 12 Lotus biscuits in a row, spread them out through the day (you’re still getting your daily quota). Send a great email, have a Lotus biscuit! Just got round to having your morning shower? Get yourself a little plate of Lotus biscuits!
Be aggressively cheery
You laugh in the face of the coronavirus. So many classic situations already to josh about with pals or colleagues, like, why does everyone buy all the eggs?!?!? And “we really should have got a bidet installed while we had the chance, eh…”
Keep in touch with friendos
Suggest zoom meetings at weird times to maintain the impression that you are incredibly busy. No hour is safe from your work ethic.
Movie time
A friend of mine suggested picking films out of a hat. I have an alternative. Pick an auteur and do all of them. Now is the time to embark on a series of extreme film marathons. Think all of Tarkovsky or Bergman or, for a treat, all the Pacinos (and yes that includes Godfather III and that weird one where he invents his own English accent).
Love in the time of coronavirus
It might just be the perfect time to find romance. The conditions are perfect. Time for a long drawn out courtship over many months. Distance enforced by the police/military. And in quarantine periods, the swashbuckling possibility that you might have to “brave the checkpoints” to come over…
Wallow in self-pity (sometimes)
“It is important to recognise the years of one’s prime. Always remember that.” A great little maxim of Muriel Spark’s Miss Jean Brodie. For those of us who know that we are in our prime at the moment, a year’s disruption is a disaster. 25-35 was meant to be a golden period for me… a tenth of it might soon be gone. Oh woe is me.
Don’t write a novel
