As Tory MPs’ focus turns to their next boss, a beleaguered Boris appeared at the despatch box at today’s PMQs for the last time.
While Johnson will remain in post until the next leader is confirmed, Parliament is shutting up shop for the summer recess this week, making this his final face-off against Starmer. By the time the House reconvenes in early September, Boris will have been given the boot.
The PM put on a cheery front, kicking off the session with a self-deprecating joke – “It probably, certainly, will be my last PMQs from this despatch box, or any despatch box” – an acknowledgement of how he is unlikely to be offered any ministerial position.
There was no snide retort from Sir Kier: instead, the Labour leader began on a courteous note, admitting the relationship between a PM and leader of the opposition is never easy, but that he “would like to wish the PM and his family the best for the future.”
After the platitude, Starmer swiftly launched his attack – but one aimed rather more at Johnson’s host of possible successors. Why did the Tory leadership candidates pull out of the Sky TV debate last night? he asked.
Johnson joked that he was “not following this thing particularly closely”, but added that any one of the candidates on offer would, “like some household detergent”, wipe the floor with the Opposition.
Ironically, Keir Starmer’s line of attack for the rest of PMQs confirmed that the Tory candidates’ reasons for pulling the plug on the TV debate were entirely founded: the blue-on-blue spats witnessed in the race to replace Boris provided ample fodder for the Labour leader.
Starmer quizzed the PM on the contractionary fiscal policies between leadership candidates, asking, does he agree with Rishi Sunak that the plans of his rival candidates are “fantasy economics?”
Fantasy economics is something Labour knows all about, retorted Johnson, who chose to deflect the question by instead noting he was proud to be leaving office with unemployment at an almost 50-year low. Labour families on low incomes get most of their income from benefits, he added. Meanwhile, under the Tories, it comes from earnings, “because we are all about jobs, jobs, jobs.”
“I’m going to miss the delusion,” Starmer replied mockingly, from a man who’s “come down from his gold wall-papered bunker.”
Sir Keir wasn’t done unpicking the leadership contest either. He was keen to draw out more bruising material from the recent Tory infighting. He reminded the PM that Liz Truss has recently stated that Rishi Sunak’s economic plans would cause recession – and that fellow Tory leader hopeful Penny Mordaunt has described our public services as being “in a desperate state.”
“Who has been running our public services for the last 12 years?” the Labour leader asked.
Perhaps most damning of all, he reminded Johnson of Kemi Badenoch’s recent claim: that she had warned Sunak about the Covid loan scheme being subject to fraud but the former chancellor has dismissed her concerns – a mistake which cost the taxpayer ÂŁ17bn, the Labour leader added.
Starmer was scathing of the legacy Boris Johnson will leave behind, asking “what message does it send when the candidates for prime minister cannot say a single decent thing about [Boris Johnson], each other, or their record in government?”
But Johnson offered up a stinging response, focussing on the mark (or lack thereof) that Starmer himself will leave in politics. “What does it say about Labour that people cannot name a single one of their policies?”, he asked. Sir Keir, he insisted, is like one of those “pointless plastic bollards” used during motorway roadworks.
Johnson ended his final ever PMQs with some unsolicited advice for his successor. These words of wisdom included “cut taxes and deregulate wherever you can”, “stay close to the Americans and Ukrainians”, “it’s not Twitter that counts” and “don’t always listen to the treasury.” “I love the Treasury,” he added, “but remember, if we’d always listened to the Treasury we wouldn’t have built the M25 or the Channel Tunnel.”
Predictably, this advice morphed into an opportunity for Johnson to reel off some of his achievements in office: “The last few years have been the greatest privilege of my life and it’s true that I helped to get the biggest Tory majority for 40 years.” Under his leadership, he added, the government has “helped save another country from barbarism” and “we’ve restored our national independence.”
“Mission largely accomplished – for now. Hasta la vista, baby.”
Hasta la vista, Boris. As for who will replace him in the despatch box at the next PMQs, we’ll have to wait until 5 September.